When you try to please everyone that it becomes a problem. In fact, more than a problem, it is a disease. And it’s making you ill.
Why?
Because you want everyone to like you. To love you. That is absolutely impossible like whatever you do, someone will always be unhappy.
You dread disapproval. Pleasing everyone seems to be the answer, the safe way to inoculate yourself against conflict and confrontation in relationships, whether family, friends, or work.
So you fail to speak up, fail to say what’s on your mind, fail to allow yourself to be the real you.
Instead you become the go-to person:
• The one who will always change their plans at a moment’s notice.
• The one who will always take on more work and stay late.
The one who will always say yes , The one who never says no.
Why You Shouldn’t Try To Please Everyone:
1. Everyone will always have an opinion no matter what
No matter what you do or how hard you try, people will always have an opinion about you. Often, it’s a negative opinion. They look at you with distaste. You can’t please those people no matter what you do. You can’t avoid them from talking and gossiping about you behind your back or even right in front of your face. And you shouldn’t bother trying either.
Nothing will ever change the thoughts and minds of others that are steeped in negativity. Nothing you ever do can please them. It’s quite literally impossible. So why bother trying? They will have an opinion about how you live your life.
2. Right and wrong can often be subjective
What’s right in one person’s mind, could be wrong in another person’s mind.
Most things are considered subjective. They’re open to interpretation. There isn’t a set way of doing every single thing in life that’s always the right way. Because of that, people will differ in their opinions of just how to approach something. If you’re not doing it their way, how can you expect to please them and everyone else for that matter?
3. We are all the unique product of our own experiences
No two people are exactly alike. Physically speaking, two twins might be completely identical, but their personalities are shaped differently. They are unique in their own special little ways. If two identical twins can be so different, how do you expect other people who are from different cultures and upbringings to be so similar?
4. People will always talk no matter what you decide to do
The nature of humanity is to talk. We talk about others in an attempt to feel better about ourselves. Gossip is quite possibly one of the worst ways to pass the time. There’s no sense in gossiping. If you’re partaking in gossiping on a regular basis, then you’re filling your life with negativity rather than positivity. It’s harder to push past the status quo when you live in the negative realm.
Considering that people will always talk, there’s not much you can do to please those people. They will always find something about you to talk about. That’s just the nature of groups and clicks. They feed off of negativity and seeing others hurt. But you simply have to ignore it. Develop thick skin and turn the other cheek.
5. People are usually frightened by things they don’t understand
Whatever you want out of life, whatever dreams or desires you might have, not everyone around you is going to understand them. In fact, some are likely to be frightened by them. When one person in a group begins to succeed while the others remain within the status quo, there’s a certain amount of tension that’s created.
People are usually frightened by what they don’t understand. Since your journey is unique, you can’t expect everyone to understand it. And you also can’t expect that every action you take or decision you make to please everyone. It simply won’t happen. But don’t let it dissuade you from confidently marching towards your goals.
6. When you try to please everyone, you end up attracting negativity
7. You begin to sacrifice who you really are deep down inside
Don’t allow other peoples’ opinions of you to stop you from doing what you really love. You can’t please them all. If you really want to pursue something, even if you’ve failed a number of times and even if people have spoken negatively about you in the past, do it. Do it for you. Don’t do it for them. Do it because it’s what you really want out of life.
8. You will lose a sense of your identity by trying to please others
When we try to please others all the time, we lose ourselves. We lose our identities. The things that we used to hold near and dear are all but forgotten. We live a life of conformity, trying to adapt to the will of others who pressure us into doing things that please them rather than that please us.
